In love for the 10th time

It is always fascinating to watch a movie depicting the romantic relationship between two people. Contemporary media has a very grabbing way of describing how this feeling evolves.

• It starts out with two seemingly unlikely individuals meeting
• A mix of stories is brought into play conjuring up circumstances that creates a “spark” or some form of connection
• Both later share moments that nurtures that spark; it could be an accidental kiss or a discussion in which certain emotions are revealed, or it could be just time spent together 
• To spice things up, we spin in a twist in which one of the individuals (usually the female) is made to question the love of the other  
• The other person (usually the male) then comes to the rescue, delivering an intense statement about the moments spent together and how he/she realized that they are standing face to face with the ONE. Their spark is revived with that special kiss (can you hear that soulful and electrifying music in the background?)

After watching for an hour thirty minutes, we are “educated” on new ways in which two people can meet the ONE they dream of, fall in “love”, get married and live happily ever after. Most romantic movies, (with little variation here and there), follow this template; though delivering a story that can make the pattern seem non-existent.

Don’t get me wrong I love romantic movies.

•  I loved when Tristan danced with Yvaine aboard the thunder capturing ship (in the movie “Star dust”) and she (being a star) glows and giggles. It was magical how she glowed when she asked him if he was tempted by lure of eternal life.
• Giselle song “How do you know” to Robert, and her last glance at him after the beautiful dance to Jon McLaughlin’s “So close” was, just as the name of the movie goes, “Enchanted”.

But is there a possibility that more and more of these movies re-wire us to think of love in terms of youthfulness and sparks?  Let us face it; very few people in this world possess their own original opinion on issues. Opinion leaders recycle/synthesize other opinions till they arrive at a conclusion that seems to resonate with what they think reality should be. The rest of the world just follows what the main stream says. And when the main stream says we run, we ask how far?

So when the media gives a suggestion about what relationship is all about, people act based on their interpretation of what they heard.  If the world continually uses the lens of contemporary media for its definition of what love is, it might affect some relationships in areas of longevity as people interpret the lack of a “spark” for incompatibility.

On a personal note, it has been 3 years since I met her.  It was exciting as we explored each other’s routines and developed our combined motions. Then the thrills of a 1^st kiss and holding hands and just getting to understand someone who thought the world about you          (maybe because she didn’t know better.lol). Marriage, which was a year ago, led to uncharted territory. If I look forward to that thrills of a 1^st kiss again, I could be destroying the foundation of a wonderful home and even the mental stability of a role model in the next generation.

Instead our desires should be towards a deeper bond; one that provides the other, the required support for dealing with the pressures of everyday life while maintaining an inner balance. It should be towards understanding each other’s visions and working out ways in which we can accomplish all we hope to achieve. We should be conceptualizing methods towards opening up the pathways to each other’s souls. In this process entangling our minds to a point where they are no longer separable.

And that should be the desire and mark of fulfillment in all relationships. The world should celebrate couples who are able to hold on through thick and thin, because the solid foundation of the histories we treasured were build on people who endured and developed characters under harsh conditions.

I think that should be the renewed focus of contemporary media; reminding people of the joy of falling in love again, even for the 10^th time.

What I am here for

When I see what I feel is wrong,

I sometimes want to speak

Other times I want to act

But I would be the first to move if I did

And if I am, what does it mean?

The one who stands against what we have learnt to believe

What we have been told is right to love and hate

The elders have reminded the people holding contrary opinions, to shoves those thoughts aside as its hold no water in the scheme of things

So everyone act normal, based on their definition of what being normal is

They have been schooled in how things should operate and strive for perfection in climbing the corporate ladders

In this quest for success, they take actions that stands against what their very essence tell them is right,

Denying who they truly are,

Denying humanity of the beauty they can release from within their soul

The enforcers of how we currently live have forgotten that the current order was birth from rebellion

It was birth by people who questioned the system of things and decided on better methods of doing things

And it is from this travail that civilizations were born

Civilizations rose and were conquered by men and women who decided that normal was not enough

They experienced something within that became such a reality, that contrary circumstance could not convince them otherwise

Such experience made them decide that what they saw much be established

I think I will speak out and give voice to what I believe- Even careless words and questions could be a source of lesson for me and those that listen to my words for inspiration

I think, my actions will be motivated by my convictions rather than peer pressure-My actions may not change the world, but they may inform those who can, to do so

In all, I think I will just be myself-My reward may not be material, but by my actions, I will satisfy that deep longing within my spirit to follow the instruction of that timeless still and small voice

I think I will fulfill what I am here for, as this is the essence of my life

21st of July

It was his only chance to get out alive.

He jumped out the window, knowing the entrance to the flat was surrounded.

….And he ran like he had never run before!

The memories of the event populated his thoughts, confusing his steps as he ran along the streets: destination unknown!

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They had ransacked the whole place, collected all that was collectable and tied the couple together in the centre of the room

“ONLY N50,000? OH BOY THIS NA BAD JOB. SOLO, MAKE YOURSELF A MAN! WHEN LIFE GRABS YOUR BALLS, YOU BURST THE BALLS OF THE NEXT MAN. NA YOU GO EX THESE PEOPLE!!!” was the instruction of Emmanuel.

Solomon's shaking hands aimed and shot at the head a begging man. As the man stumbled, his wife screamed and he shot her too.

The whole thing took about 10 seconds, but that moment, felt like eternity…

The bullet left the barrel with a loud noise “bang” shooting through the air, heading for the target….

He remembered the words of Emmanuel as they planned the attack “the guy is like 32 sha. He lives around Igando. We know commandant for that area, so no be big issue. Tona na your car we go use”

The man had a look of plea in his face, as he witnessed his own death…..

“ No wahala. I suppose take the car go Cotonou go sell after. They say the maga na oil worker. Dem boys gats kishi. If that guy no prepare, he fit get N500,000 for house. Na small job. We fit carry Solo come” Tona added  

The bullet pierced into his skull, tearing open the flesh and blood vessels, lifting up the man from his feet….

“Yeae paripa… I don kill person. Na so person dey die?  Oh Boy I don become murderer! Solo, concentrate na him business jo, I gats to chop! Na these people get money pass, na dem spoil country for us! I gats to chop” he thought to himself

Bang! Bang! Bang! Was the sound of his gun as three bullets were squeezed from the barrel of his gun into the neck of the wife, permanently silencing her

“Solo, our elders say the one that befriends the Cobra and makes him play dead, is the one town crier would call the hero.” Was his dad last statement to him as he departed for Lagos

She slumped on to the body of her husband with no care of her nudity…her body….lifeless

“Solomon, you can’t do this forever! How those babes go dey look us? You no fit dey dey do mechanic work anymore. You pass that one well” was Samson’s luring line to Solo in every effort to entice his younger brother

A visibly shaken Solomon dropped the gun as his thoughts were interrupted by a gun shot, “RATATATATATATA!!!!”

…was the next thing he heard as the glass door (that covered the stairways) scattered next to him

“OPC PEOPLE DON LAND!!” Emmanuel screamed

Even as Emmanuel beckoned on him to wait, Solomon ran straight to the next room, which was a toilet and locked the door; his heart beating like it was about burse.

 He climbed out from the window’s toilet and jumped two storeys down on to the bonnet of a black sedan parked in the drive way.

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They hadn’t thought OPC vigilante members would respond quickly,

they hadn’t thought the man would have only N50,000 in the house,

they…in fact they hadn’t thought about a lot of thing.

And Solomon was now an outlaw. He broke entry into a guarded property. He had the blood of two innocent people on his hands!!! 
This is not the life he every planned for!!

He ran aimlessly on the street hoping that he would see someone or something that he recognizes …..

  “BANG! BANG!! BANG!!!!”

Immediately he heard that sound, all the lights went out...........

Defining Success

“A man who worked as a ticketing officer in a theme park died. When he got to heaven, he was asked to choose the type of heaven he wants to spend eternity in. Since he never really liked his life, his began to explore all the possible heavens he had secretly lusted after through his seemingly (in his own point of view) meaningless life. To help him decide, a presentation was shown of his life. At the end of the presentation, he came up conclusion:
The only heaven where he could make a meaning was to remain a ticketing officer at a theme park”
Source: Unknown




We all have a misconception about what success is. And this misconception spurs from all the information we have been loaded with over the years. The average individual is bombarded with over 8 billion unit of information daily. Like a puzzle, the brain attempts using the information it processes (approximately 250 million of that) as guide to understanding the world, and in developing survival strategies.


In our myopic view of the world, we have come to associate success with things that everyone can associate with; things we love to happen. Wealth and career progression are some of such. And this standard is hidden in the information we process, the methods we apply in drawing conclusions, how we converse, how we develop expectations and pass judgments.


But what truly is success? When can we say a man has become greater than himself? Within each one of us lies than desire imbedded within our consciousness. Once a child becomes conscious of its environment, there is a sparks within (sometimes doused in competition) to aspire above understanding of self within the known world. Because of our mental mapping, we use information available to define what that means; and there lies the root of our problem. A problem because, if success is restricted to only those who are, wealthy, experts in influencing people, excellent sales men, and leaders, then less than 5% of the population would truly live successful lives. The remaining 95% would be locked in a mechanical struggle toward attaining what the society conceives as ‘successful’ (a struggle capable of removing the essence of living from life) especially when intentions/ priorities are wrongly placed; when they don’t align the individual’s true conviction of self.


The degree to which a civilization succeeds is determined by how purposeful it is; how aligned its vision is with the character of the people forged by their fundamental nature. Reason being that purpose remains the greatest motivator and organizer of labour; everyone doing what he is convinced he was born to do. If life is a script, success is playing your part, whatever that part might be. It is in understanding that our individual configurations are different, so our aspiration should be dictated by self and not by standards; by what we internally are convinced summarized our life purpose.


Till we pass on, our central purpose would remain to discover what our purpose truly is, as all we know is what has happened. What will happen is still a mystery that can only be harnessed when we prepare; when we prepare by
• listening to ourselves to understanding what we are made of
• Making our search for all knowledge be about discovering who we are (not mapping out what we should desire).

In the Spirit of a Revolution

One day our thoughts will count.
They will echo along the corridors of kings
Dictating the general orders
and revolting against the establishment that trods upon our will


We will speak of our burdens and all would listen
They will hear our thoughts and would align their actions regardless of tribe or ethnic background
and we will speak in one voice


Our voices will act like symbols,
motivating all to move in patterns they are most conversant with
taking action when they should,
making art if they can
and standing against oppression if they must


It will be the alure of freedom that will motivate
to make men understand that their destiny lies in the hands of whom they give it to
And they are capable of having a belief and sticking to it


Till the right thoughts are formed
I will prepare
Prepare for the day we would change our world!!!

Anti-Mubarak protesters in Tahrir Square standing for what he believed.

11-02-2011-he was finally removed after 30 years in power!

Sound in Music

If you listen to a song deep enough you can almost here the sound of its origins.

The beats echoing the ramblings of souls

Within it, the words of the ancestors are felt
Along with their observations of the world around them

Their passion, their values, and even their essence
Capturing aspects of the human experience that our physical senses are not robust enough to articulate

The listeners are unknowingly responding to codes that unlock natures within their depth

The rhythm of a song is capable of changing a man into a movement within in a dance,
into the alphabet in the words,
And the silence interval in the melody

Music re-invents men and aligns their spirits with the souls of the composer

This knowledge makes one fact clear:

Man is capable of listening only to himself; who he is or is becoming

Interpretation of a Dream

I am one of the few people who enjoy traffic in Lagos. I enjoy the moment when I get on the 3rd mainland, crossing over to the “fast” lane (which usually turns out to be the slowest). It might be a survival instinct, but I have learnt to savour every moment of that ride.

But what is there to enjoy?

Well for one, my Nigerian siblings are calmer. Everyone is very aware of the metal restrictions all around, forcing a more orderly behaviour than they would normally have. And in this environment of tranquility, I am given that rare opportunity to put things in perspective: to see things for what they are and build up a desire of how things should be.

To my right is a Toyota Corrolla, and seated at the back seat (or the “the owner’s corner”) is a light skinned man (most likely of the Yoruba extract). He was driven by a young lad in a white shirt and a red tie that kept a straight face and tried too much not “to upset oga”. The “owner” kept a straight face as he glossed through the dailies, with his head up and an attitude of accomplishment. His appearance embodied the Nigerian delusion of success.

·         Possibly just flew down from a meeting in Cyprus and is on his way for a meeting with some senators (on some contract that no one would feel the impact, but he would get awarded for)

·         Possibly lives in Victoria Island.  His wife owns a store for kid’s ware in Pees Galleria and is currently setting up a  crèche in Old Ikoyi for her children.

·         He is an icon of respect and EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LIKE HIM!!!

As I observe the likes of “owner corner” baron, it occurred to me that this man could have desired something else. It seems such a trivial thought, but how we overlook such powerful consideration in the quest for survival.

Maybe, he always wanted to be a gym instructor. Maybe he was considered a strange child, one with an obsession on weight gain and loss. He might have excelled in Physical education and joined all the clubs passionately promoting health education and fitness in his small community. But when he got older, weighed down by the pressures of life, he sought the route most travelled. To gain the approval of his family, and fend for himself, he sought after the roles that appealed to all his contemporaries.

So even though his heart desired something else, even though he knows he his better equipped to handle something apparently trivial, what I observe is a man that fit a definition of achievement.

And this is what caused this traffic!! This is the result of a generation blindly aspiring after a definition of success; chasing to do what they are not equipped to do. All this is fueled by a lie:                         

“Success is only achieved against all odd, it is only achieved when you follow the paths of our successful fathers”

But what if he had chased his dream? What if he remained in Akure as a gym instructor? What if he married Kemi his childhood sweetheart, not Biola, the mysterious girl? What would his life have been like? Would his focus have being to “buy with money what has been created”, or “creating what money can buy”? Putting things into perspective, who would he have become?

I believe a society that functions is a product of many dreams. Every functioning society is beyond doing what is right, beyond learning from the best teachers. Rather it is rooted in the something more fundamental. Communities that soar are those who can desire and in this mist, articulate their essence in the grand scheme of things. Their essence results from everyone chasing personal desires, and by this, crystallizes a reality that can nurture the skills required to sustain the next generation.  

And these desires are results of personal experiences; they are personal responses to challenges the environment presents, changing with every new generation. In a sense, a society that will survive is one that can accurate capture the dreams within their environment provide the environment to harness it; in other words, societies that can accurately interpret its' dreams.

Not until, this dawns in our consciousness, not until we are able to glean this reality, we would be stuck in traffic, on this crowded road to success, (dying inside, revolving against the establishment, angry with the next man)  at the expense of who we truly are; at the expense of the real Nigerian Spirit.