But help is here!! Guy-Man-no-dey-come-Last finishing College, Igando, Lagos State is where you want to be.
We have experts from all over the world trained in the act of irresponsible behaviours from some of the most unliveable cities in the world. From Harare, Dhaka, and even Baghdad, seasoned specialists are available to provide you with case studies and 1st hand examples of tactics you can adopt to ensure your adjustment to living in Lagos is seamless.
- Deal with police officer;
- Earn a living doing nothing;
- Show off an attitude that can piss your customers off;
- Jump queues;
- How to fart in public (without making a sound);
- The best way to shakara (special courses on telling them “do know who I am”);
- Brag (even when there is nothing to brag about);
- Silence you conscience and do what benefits you (and only you).
- Effectively collect bribe (for law enforcement agents: we teach all the secrets things they don’t teach you in training school. Like how to collect eguje and make the “accused” think you are doing your job);
- Inflate prices (and use strange accents to backup the reasons for the exorbitant prices);
- Bad time keeping (for artisans, we go further in perfecting the art cheating your clients well with fake parts and substandard goods);
- Public transportation- the art of being an okada man, conductor and a danfo driver- [Due to the sensitivity of this sector, we also have voice coaching centres for the conductors and reckless driving techniques (for okada men and bus drivers)];
- Health is wealth, indeed (Providing health with no compassion).
Lagos, Port Harcourt & Abuja).
It was tough integrating into the chaotic Nigerian system. People took advantage of my good behaviour and ethics. Not until I came to the Guy- man- no- dey- come- Last Finishing College Lagos.
I once bashed a danfo driver, gave him a slap and even screamed “do you know who I am” (when I was the one at fault).
I now know how to stylishly switch on my hazard lights & join the convoy of siren vehicles (to beat the traffic) .
And even though I am married, I still provide Aristo services to two girls currently in the University.